I don’t know about you, but I find it harder to weep with others than to share their joy. It’s fun to be excited with others about good news: the birth of a child, a marriage, a new job. When something bad happens to somebody, we are not so quick to comfort them. We may not know what to say, or we may instinctively, subconsciously back away, not wanting to be sad ourselves. It’s fun to be happy because your friend is happy. It’s not fun to be distraught and upset due to someone else’s troubles. As human beings, emotions are contagious, but we often learn at a young age how to put up blocks and walls around ourselves. We don’t want to be influenced by all the emotions around us. We want to pick only the good feelings, and ignore the bad ones.
That can be a good thing, in part. We shouldn’t be constantly in tears due to the evil in the world around us. We shouldn’t be broken down emotionally by all the needy people around us. But we shouldn’t ignore the suffering around us either. We need a good balance between protecting ourselves and being compassionate toward others.
Music requires a balance between sound and silence. If it is all sound, constantly, the notes tend to overwhelm us and blend together after a while, and there is no differentiating between the tones. If there is only silence, then there is no music (notwithstanding John Cage’s 4’33” work of nothingness – look it up if you’re not familiar with this piece). We need both parts – sound and silence – for musical balance.
And so in life, we need a balance between happiness and sadness, and a balance between sharing other people’s emotions and experiencing our own.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Romans 12:15