Avoiding distraction while trying to listen and pay attention to another human being is another issue altogether. You probably won’t have much choice of time or location when someone needs your focused attention.
Remember the choir that started singing a measure before the orchestra expected? It took a key change before they got back together. The orchestra was distracted by playing their own part, and didn’t hear the choir singing something different. We often get distracted while listening to others by thinking of what we are going to say (or play) next. We get so caught up in deciding how to word our reply that we stop hearing what the other person is really saying. Our eventual reply may not even address their real question or problem, and they turn away from us, feeling unheard.
How can we stop our minds from whirring, and focus on the other person’s words? We need to try and understand their needs or their points, but not just by thinking about how we can help them. Of course that is a good thing, but maybe we should also evaluate how their situation might teach us a thing or two. Put yourself in their position, and really, deeply consider what you would do in their place: not what they should do, but what you would do.
That may seem counter-intuitive, when you are trying to pay attention to them instead of yourself, but putting yourself mentally in their position helps you gain a deeper understanding of their situation, which, in turn, helps you understand them better. Maybe their words, and their story, will provide advice that will help you. Also, maybe we won’t be so judgmental when we truly consider how it feels to be in their situation. More listening, less speaking.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
James 1:19